What Ifs

What if, dito ka Gumraduate?

What if, totoong gera na nga?!

What if, hindi ka makuntento sa lamig ng aircon sa kotse mo?

What if, malikot si baby?

What if, you are facing your greatest fear?

What if, nobody wants you anymore?

What if you died in shame?

What if, the story doesn't turn out the way you want it to be?

What if, your secret is exposed?

What if, huling huli ka na?

What if, lusciousness is cheap?

What if, mainit?

What if, you become a blessing to others?

What if, you understand Tagalog?

What if, you know how to play balls?

What if, hindi ka kasya?

What if, pwede ka na agad gumawa ng french toast?

What if, inexplain pa talaga?

Photo Credits: Pinoy Laugh Page

I'm glad that you're alive

When it comes to birthdays, I'm really getting emotional. I would want to receive even a small gift, maybe a hanky or a friendship bracelet. So cheesy! Just petty things that I will not forget, for you have made me feel special and that you're happy because I was born and became your friend. The struggles that we had as a family already hindered me to celebrate my past birthdays in a grandious way. I don't have any bad emotions towards it. I was contented with pansit and a half gallon of ice cream that me and my siblings share. Those moments were priceless. The only thing that I remember something huge were my 1st and 7th birthday. On my first, I dressed as Superman. Back then, I cannot recall how happy I was but I'm sure I did enjoy my party.

Last year 21st of May, I came from work feeling agitated because I am about to go home to the Philippines. I thought my PAL flight from Singapore to Manila is at 2AM of the following day. I always lost my attention to details and that's my terminal illness. I slowly packed my things and enjoyed the remaining hours of the night. I took a cab to the airport around 12:30 AM. I was very complacent that 1 hour will cover checking in my luggage, wearing my best smile as I pass through the immigration officer and walking to the boarding gate before the plane takes off. While in the cab, I checked my ticket and felt overwrought when I found out that the aircraft was set to leave at 1:15 AM. I rushed into the check in counter as soon as I stepped into Changi. I became THE FLASH, literally. The moment that I buckled up my seat-belt, flight attendants started to demo their take off routines. I told myself, "You stupid crammer!" I never learned my lesson.

It is your birthday. The day that I am grateful for because you're alive. I will be home to celebrate it with you. I hope you appreciated my gift for you. Time and effort.

Same day, this year, I was with friends celebrating our lives and talking about how it is supposed to be, encouraging each other and helping one another for our faith to grow. It was also our dearest friend's birthday. We bought pizza, chicken wings and celebrated it with two cakes. He is very grateful and appreciative. I saw the joy in his eyes and imagine myself if I were in his shoes that moment, I'd probably cry. Although, I didn't plan his to happen, it just happened. Although, there isn't too much effort, I am glad that I'm part of the group that made one person very happy because we have blessed and touched each and everyone's lives.

Now that my past is over and you and I parted ways, I'm still happy that you're alive. The difference is, I am no longer part of your world. 

I don't have plans for my birthday yet. Again, I'm not used to celebrating it BIGTIME! Maybe, a trip to KL would suffice. But I would also want a cake from my friends.

Teleserye

Naalala ko taong 1996, nung ako ay Grade 6 nang nagreyna si Claudine Baretto at Judy Ann Santos sa mga primetime series ng ABS-CBN. Hindi ko na naabutan ang Flordeluna at batang bata pako nung sumikat si Annaluna. Telenovela pa ang tawag noon sa mga palabas na sinusubaybayan ng pamilyang Pilipino. Nag-evolve ito at tinawag na Teleserye (hindi ko matandaan kung kailan).

Naging tagasubaybay din naman ako ng mga teleserye. Ang huli kong napanood ng buo ay yung Pangako Sa'yo at yung Iisa pa Lamang. Naalala mo ba ang mga martyr nating bida na si Via at Esperanza? Hindi na nawalan ng pahinga si Judy Anne at Claudine nung mga panahon na'yon. Nagpapalit-palitan lang sila ng palabas. Nauso din yung Fantaserye nung nasa kolehiyo nako. Nandiyan yung Mulawin, Marina, Krystala, Encantadia at kung anu ano pang lamang lupa ang ipinalabas sa TV. 

Iba-iba man ang istorya nila, iisa lang naman ang mga nangyayare sa mga eksena. Naglista ako ng ilan sa mga laging nagaganap sa isang Teleserye.

• Laging may sampalan. Una munang maapi and bida.
• Pagkalipas ng mahabang panahon, babalik ang bida na mayaman na, kulot o mikli na ang buhok niya na may kulay.
• Laging may ampon or nawawalang anak sa istorya. Tapos yung bida pala yun. Matutuklasan niyang mayaman pala talaga siya.
• Laging naaksidente ang nakaka-alam ng katotohanan (yung may hawak ng diary oh yung totoong may alam kung sino ang totoong anak ng naghihiganti). Kadalasan, tinatanggalan ng preno ang sasakyan niya or kaya pasasabugin.
• Kapag may involve na pulitiko, palaging kasabwat ito ng kontrabida.
• Palaging may pipisiling bagay ang kontrabida habang naglilitanya. It's either panyo or yung litrato ng bida na ex ng kanyang asawa.
• Kung ayaw ng magulang ng babae sa lalaki (vice versa) kase mahirap lang siya, bibigyan ng tseke o kya itatanan ng lalake si babae.
• Kung may mamamatay na tauhan, iiyak ang bida, titingala at isisigaw ang pangalan ng namatay.
• Pagkalipas ng ilang taon, buhay pala ang namatay na tauhan. Nagka-amnesia lang.
• Ang bidang lalaki, kapag depress ay iinom ng whisky tapos may maalala, tas ibabato ang baso kapag nainis.
• Kapag me negosyo ang kontrabida, malulugi tas ipagbebenta. Ang bidang naghihiganti ang makakabili ng kumpanya.
• Mayroong katulong na komedyante ang kontrabida. Kadalasan, balimbing ito.

Wala na akong maisip. Meron pa ba akong dapat idagdag? hehehe

Sa personal kong pananaw, dapat magbago na ang ating panlasa towards sa story ng ating mga lokal na palabas. Minsan, ang tema ay hindi nararapat sa mga bata. Alam kong ito ang ating kultura ngunit nakakalungkot lang isipin na hindi nagbabago ang ating pananaw at kung minsan, naapektuhan tayo ne'to sa mga paraang hindi natin alam.

T-square

It was a very hot day. Picture me as a young college freshman with a pair of attentive ears. I was excited for my first Engineering Drawing class in college. It was also my last subject for the day. Laboratory classes are only held once a week, however, you need to finish the exercise in 3 hours. I was confident that I can pass the subject. Drafting was my favorite in high school and my grades in all my "plates" were all A. I knew that I can do well in this area compared to Advanced Trigonometry. Architecture was one of my top course choice but because of the persistence of my mom, he convinced me to take Computer Engineering. She foresaw that IT or something about computers is the next big thing. Being the undecided youngster, I followed her advise. 

My professor in Drawing was a small lady with glasses and a manly penmanship. I told myself that I write the same way as her. Again, I'd like to boast that skill. I absolutely don't need a ruler in writing my name. Technical lettering is my forte. I got agitated when she wrote down all the things required to make an engineering plate.

> T-square

> University customized Engineering paper

> Graphing Paper

> B, HB and F pencils.

> eraser

> French Curve

> ruler

> compass

> engineering storage tubes

> rags

The professor dismissed us earlier than expected and when I went home, I immediately told my mom about it and without hesitation, she agreed to buy all those stuff for next week's class.

Six days have passed with tons of Algebra, Trigo and Chemistry assignments. I was a very busy and still a serious freshman trying to solve it all on my own. I also wanna mention my travel time from Cavite to Manila. Riding an FX was very painful. The traffic is horrendous. After one hell of a day, I went home seeing all my things already bought by Mom, except the T-Square. The day after that is going to be my first plate day and I don't have the T-square. I actually didn't know if that would affect my exercise but I had the thought that maybe, since it was the first plate, my professor would be lenient. I slept and went to school without any worries. 

The lady drafter has explained the plate which was an inscribed hexagon showing all the auxiliary views. I thought it was easy but I was wrong. Not without the comfort of the T-square. To summarize my agony, I got a grade of 75. There were too many overlapping lines on my plate and lots of erasures as well. I was disheartened, that's how grade concious I was. On my way home, I saw my mom and we were on the same jeepney. I was stubborn enough to not give her any words but a disappointing face all througout the ride. Then when we got home, I told her what happened and we had an argument over the T-square. I just didn't get why she will make a promise but was not able to keep it.  I have told her hurtful words and I didn't talk to her until the next day. Just because of the T-square.

I regretted it after a while.

Especially that those moments were her last few days with us, in the Philippines. Two weeks after, she flew to Iceland for work and make a living for us, for her children.  I was the only one left in the house, crying for 3 long hours when everybody wistfully bid goodbye to you at the airport. It took us 5 years before we saw each other again, and another 6 long years of seeing you only every other Christmas.

I fulfilled my promise that I will finish my course and never flunked a single subject. Because of my mom's persistence and hard work, me and my siblings are fully equipped now to stand on our own and buy not only one but dozens of T-square for your grandchildren if they take Engineering. =)

Thanks to you mom! You've done a stupendous job! I will save a lot so that when the time comes that you'll need someone who will take care of you, I will quit my job and give you all my time. That's how I love and honour you. I understand now why you can't say NO to us. Everything was all about us. I am happy that now, you worry less about me, my brother and 2 sisters and finally can take all the time for yourself. I will treat you to spa when I get home for your birthday! I love you!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO YOU MAMA! 

Null

I ain't good enough to narrate or write about a certain event that happened in my life. It's a fact. I tend to give every detail of it. Apparently, most perfectionist people like my editor in high-school said that I ain't fit for a News writer so he made me a Feature writer. For me, it's okay. I was having fun. At least I can still write. It ain't really my passion but a hobby that can make my hands occupy and make my brain think a lot. Now that I told you that I was a writer, forgive my grammar slips. I'm an engineer now.

I don't have a story to tell, actually. Did I mention before that I asked someone to marry me? I think I did. Shall I broadcast to the whole world that I enjoy worshipping in a Christian church now? That would be a constrained topic or a taboo. Will I get myself into a big trouble if I write about how my colleague pissed me off tonight? That's too much information. I may find myself paying a fat fine when they find out. By the way, I have two hefty oranges now in my bag and I brought a knife to cut it. I'm utterly excited to ingest it later. Who the hell cares?

I ain't making any sense here. I've been thinking of writing a book review but reading the first chapter of my chosen book, Norwegian Wood makes me think twice. I bawled out like a baby when I saw the movie "One Day." So what would make me deduce another heavyhearted plot without thinking of how will I ever conquer the feeling of nullity.

Yes, you heard it right. Nullity. It means nothingness. It means zilch.

Emotions are deceitful. When you get mad, opportunities and possible happy memories may slip away. But what if you feel NULL? Like there is nothing inside your heart. Does NULL really means ZILCH? Will it allow or negate that one feeling which everybody is dying for to feel? I'm talking about happiness.

I am not unhappy. I am blessed in so many ways, thank GOD! But somehow, that part of the heart where the magic happens, is NULL.

The Versatile Blogger Award

Dalawang blogger in my circle ang nag-gawad sakin ng isang parangal bilang "The versatile blogger" Sila ay sila Lonewolf Milch at si Nowhan. Maraming salamat mga sexy friends. Bukod nga pala sa blogger ay nakaka-interact ko sila sa twitter. It's an honor! Gratitude Dominus! LOL

The rules of this award are the following:

1. Thank the blogger who gave you the award. Don't forget to link his/her blog. 

2. Post 7 random things about you.

3. Give the award to 15 other bloggers you love and let them know you gave them this award.

Pahirapan nga lang ang award / tag / meme post na'to. hehe I did the first one so let's go to the 7 random things about me.

1.) I'm a scorpion. Madalas, nag di-dig in ako about sa mga attitudes and behavioural responses ng mga Scorpion and 99% sa mga nabasa ko ay totoo. Akong-ako nga! Kami daw sa lahat ng signs ang pinaka-misunderstood. Although I don't believe in Horoscopes.

2.) I'm a certified movies and series addict. Kaya kong manood ng isang season ng mga sci-fi na series sa isang upuan lang. Maybe I need to change this habit.

3.) Chan is not really my last name. It's supposed to be Chua. Pero nung unang panahon, hindi pwede gamitin ng babae ang last name ng lalaki kung di sila kasal. So ayun, ang tatay ko at ang 10 pa niyang kapatid ay illegitimate sa kanilang pure chinese sa ama. We're using a Filipino surname.

4.) Graduate nako sa mga pagpunta ng mga bars and disco. Mas na-eenjoy ko yung party sa bahay with close friends. Konting inuman and kainan. Ganyan.

5.) I'm a reckless driver. Nung nagddrive ako sa Pilipinas, hindi ko na mabilang kung ilang beses ako nahuli.

6.) Medyo pareho kami ni Milch. Shy sa simula pero once na nakilala mo na, total opposite pala. 

7.) I am very intuitive. Mararamdaman ko kaagad if there's something wrong with you or if you did something wrong Tahimik lang kita oobserbahan kasi siyempre nagkakamali din minsan pero madalas tama ang hinala. LOL

Ayan, tapos na! Ang susunod ay mag-tag ng 15 more bloggers and award them with the very prestigious title of being versatile. Pansin ko lang na umiikot lang ang award na'to. hehe

Ok, eto na ang 15 bloggers na napili ko:

Si Anthony ng Supladong Office Boy.

Si Anthony ng Fact Us All.

Si Jaki ng Inside a Feeble's mind.

Si Francis ng Whispers.

Si Sam ng Kwentong May Sayad.

Si Yow ng it's Yow Time.

Si Saints ng Payatot on The Go!

Si Princess Leona ng Deciphering Me.

Sino pa ba?!

Si Tago ng Tago Fabic Photographs.

Gosh, 6 pa....

Pwede bang 9 lang?! Yung iba kasi naawardan na. hehe

Have a great day guys! :)