Relive

I remember a conversation with a very close friend, several years back when she was asking me whether to meet or not to meet her ex for a coffee after a few months of their devastating break-up. I saw her how she deplored and go through a very agonizing season. Everything is okay now, although I can still remember my remarkable antiphon that made her mute for a short while.

"Maybe, he just want to see if the feelings is still there. He wants to relive."

While my friend is happily engaged now, I am haunted by the remnants of my past that's now seemingly unfamiliar to my heart. I can still remember how I fell in love. The littlest details made me smile once in a while, but the feelings are put behind the depth of field. There's distance from the subject, which is now emptiness.

I never asked for this. I still want to relive and somehow get at least a drop of the essence of the relationship that I had with you, but everything has suddenly demised in the inside. 


Have you ever been so tired of looking for a lost valuable inside your room and used all your strength and might to find it? After time has erased the feeling of loss, suddenly you will find it in some place you missed and by that time, it's either been replaced or became an unimportant part of your everyday life.

I'm sure that I didn't miss a single spot. I am certainly not hoping to find you again, but still it will bring a huge smile on my face if I do.